The first time I came across the “trad wife” trend on TikTok a few months ago, I didn’t think much of it. Since I could remember, my Algerian mother was making bread, jam, couscous, cheese, and even soap from scratch while simultaneously taking care of six young children on her own in a foreign country. Growing up, the concept of a woman who tended to her home and kids while her husband went to work to make money to provide for his family was the norm (that probably explains my taste in men, but I digress). For a long time, this idea of leaning into traditional gender roles was previously looked down upon as women everywhere decided to ditch being a homemaker in favor of entering the workforce, however, it appears that it has been gaining momentum in the last couple of years, further reinforced on TikTok, where the “trad wife” topic has over 300 million views and counting.
Today, trad (short for traditional) wives, at least in the TikTok-ified sense of the word, refers to perfectly made-up housewives who wear flowy dresses (or even head-to-toe couture), make homemade banana bread, and keep their homes spotless, despite having at least five toddlers running around. It sounds like hard work, but they have time to do all of this because you see, their whole livelihood is dependent on the husband. In short, it’s the antithesis of the “girl boss.” The trad wife trend for young women is basically the female equivalent to the increase in men converting to Islam recently.
The most well-known of the trad wife influencers include Nara Smith (who is married to model Lucky Blue Smith), Estee Williams, and Hannah Neeleman, who have all accumulated millions of followers on social media who flock to their accounts for (highly curated) aesthetic content of cows being milked, toothpaste being made from scratch, and flowers being neatly arranged.
@naraazizasmith family dinners #easyrecipe #homecooking #fypツ #mediterranean #dinnerideas ♬ Just Give Me One More Day – Alej
The resurgence of the “trad wife” trend in recent years can be attributed to various socio-economic and cultural shifts. In an era marked by climate change, war, and economic uncertainty, many are seeking stability and a return to simpler, more predictable lifestyles. This sentiment is particularly strong among Gen-Z, who, unlike Millennials, are increasingly embracing more conservative values due to several factors, including disillusionment with modern feminist values, economic pressures such as student debt and high living costs, and constant connectivity, which leaves many young people yearning for simpler, more grounded lives–a contrast to the superficial online world. The trend of some young individuals leaning towards more conservative values can also be seen as a pushback against “woke” culture. It seems that now, after years of ultra-liberalism, to be conservative is to be a rebel.
According to a 2021 study by the Pew Research Center, a significant portion of those born between 1997 and 2012 value traditional gender roles and family structures more than their Millennial counterparts did at the same age. This observation correlates with the global trend of many countries leaning more towards right wing politics, including France, Italy, and the UK.
Feminist scholars have also weighed in on the growing trad wife trend. Dr. Angela Davis, a prominent feminist and social activist, suggests that the trend reflects a “yearning for security and structure in a world that often feels chaotic.” Similarly, Dr. Rebecca Traister, in her book Good and Mad, explores how the pendulum of feminist progress swings, leading some to find solace in traditional roles during times of societal upheaval. This shift is not just a reaction to the present but also a critique of the pressures and perceived failures of modern feminist ideals. As Dr. Christina Hoff Sommers notes, “There’s a growing disillusionment with the promise that career success and independence alone will lead to fulfillment. Many young women are finding that blending traditional homemaking with modern values provides a more balanced and satisfying life.”
@esteecwilliams For better, for worse. NOT divorce. #fyp #tradwife #traditionalwife #traditionalmarriage #tradwifemovement #housewife #homemaker #nuclearfamily #traditionalvalues #traditionalhousewife ♬ 1950s Woman – John Stevens Band
In the West, the resurgence of traditional gender roles through the trad wife trend may seem like a radical shift. But for many in the Arab world, it’s simply a continuation of what has always been. The idea that women can find fulfillment and empowerment in homemaking is not a novel concept for us–it’s a lived reality, passed down through generations.
What these TikTok trad wives are portraying as a newfound lifestyle is, in fact, a long-standing tradition in many Arab households. Growing up in an Algerian family, this way of life was second nature. My mother, like many Arab women, embraced the role of a homemaker not because it was trendy, but because it was rooted in cultural values and a sense of duty to her family, much like her own mother, grandmother, and so on.
Side note: it is essential to acknowledge that the trad wife life was and still is often imposed on many Arab women who would rather work and not submit to their husbands. For many, it is something they do purely out of duty and love for their families, rather than personal choice or fulfillment.
The difference, however, lies in the intention and the visibility. While modern trad wives share their polished lives on social media for likes and follows, and, according to many users, to push their own religious beliefs, Arab women have been quietly maintaining their households for generations without the need for external validation. Arab women have mastered the art of balancing homemaking with grace long before it became a TikTok hashtag.
So, while the “trad wife” trend racks up millions of views, let’s not mistake it for a new or groundbreaking movement. It’s more of a (highly-unrealistic and, quite frankly, lucrative) social media performance than a reflection of real, everyday stay-at-home motherhood and the resilience and unpaid domestic labor that goes into it. Women from our side of the world have been living this life out of duty and love long before it was aesthetically curated for the internet and they didn’t need an audience to validate their strength.
